


Swag or Punk? Maybe Both?

by Lithebunnyq



Category: Sing (2016), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Hashiree, I only own my o.c. and concept, I'm just practicing a new writing style, Multi, Slow Burn, Street Punks - Freeform, Swag, more sing related chapters later on, sir con con, they are the creators of the au versions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:21:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lithebunnyq/pseuds/Lithebunnyq
Summary: DISCLAIMER; I DO NOT OWN TMNT OR SING. SING WAS CREATED BY DREAMWORKS AND TMNT WAS CREATED BY VIACOM. SWAG COUNTERPARTS WERE CREATED BY HASHIREE. STREET PUNK COUNTERPARTS WERE CREATED BY SIRCONCON! Otherwise, please enjoy this dark drabble of my O.C. and her messed up life story. I have brought this over from my ff.net account.
Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Original Character(s), Raphael (TMNT)/Original Female Character(s)





	1. Night Terrors, fiction or memories?

Chapter One

The fluorescent lights overhead were buzzing too loud. That's the first thing I noticed, then the bright light tries to penetrate my eyelids and yet I opened them. I winced and tried to shield my eyes only to find that I had limited mobility. Both of my wrists were strapped down as well as both of my ankles. "No." I breathed out in terror.

Voices could be heard coming from my right and I twisted to look. My sight was of a mirror set in the wall with a severe glare, an empty instrument table a few feet away and a door with no handle near the mirror. The muffled voices then turned to screams of agony as I had started to thrash around trying to get away. That's when I heard the door open and fear froze my body in the middle of the table. To my relief and horror, the body that followed the pounding footsteps belonged to Raphael Hamato!

"Ellie! Thank God, you're okay!" He cried in his accented voice, cutting the straps and freeing me.

"Raph?! How did you get here?" I asked in shocked joy.

"I followed those guys who kidnapped ya." Was his short and sweet reply. It was as Raph was hastily taking off his red sleeveless jacket did I realize that I was naked. Then, while he wrapped me in his warm statement piece, the scenery changed. It was a cold and rainy night, his hands giving me a comfortable feeling as the protectively slid down my shoulders to take my hands in his.

'Oh Gods no, please not this night!' I silently prayed as I watched the love of my life get down on one knee before me.

"Aoede, elope with me and let's runaway from these lives of ours, together?" Raph asked as he pulled out a simple banded ring with an infinity symbol engraved around our initials.

Tears filled my eyes as my body betrayed my mind and nodded. Raph stood and leaned in to kiss me when a gunshot rang out into the night! His now limp body fell into my arms and I screamed! Momma's massive bear frame stepped into the alley, blocking out the light and said in plain and clear english; "I warned you." The raised gun sparking before my eyes was the last thing I saw.

My eyes shot open to my room that would occasionally be illuminated by flashes of lightning as rain pelted my windows. My heart was racing wildly and a cold chill ran down my spine with the phantom gunshot ringing from my night terror. 'Raph doesn't know about my past. He's still alive and one of my closest friends...even if he doesn't know it's me.' I repeated over and over until my heart slowed to a normal pace.

I sat up as I wiped my eyes and cheeks from tears that I could no longer feel. Glancing over to my alarm clock I groaned at the green glaring two thirty a.m. "Sometimes I get more sleep than others. Damn night terrors! Just when you think that you're getting used to them; they get worse." I muttered, my tail twitching in my annoyance.

"Forget it! I'm not going back to sleep." I stated in frustration. I kicked my blanket off of me and swung my feet over the edge of the bed. With minimal effort I pushed myself off the edge and fell down to the main floor of my apartment. "Best part of living alone, no pants required." I softly cheered to no one as I made my way to the bathroom. 'Mikey's unnatural sense of enthusiasm and seeing the positive side of things in this cruel world is starting to rub off on me.' I thought with a mirthful smirk.

My tail swung freely from sides of my knees with my walk, the smooth padding of my leathery feet allowed for a near silent gait. That and almost five years of training and work as an assassin for Momma Bear. The lights in my bathroom came on automatically when I walked in, crossing my mirrorless double sink vanity that was in front of my four foot deep bamboo jetted bathtub. I reached a corner for the toilet that I really needed and when I was done I rounded the next corner for my walk-in real rock rain shower. I turned the water on to just below scaling hot and then stepped back to remove my pajama shirt and turn on my heated towel rack.

'Thinking of him...I should check my phone when I get out, Mikey has probably blown it up by now.' I thought to myself as the steam reached my sinuses. I stepped into the warm water and watched as the steam filled the glass door that I shut behind me. The water really didn't feel more than mildly warm to my skin but it started to work miracles on my shot nerves.

I washed with a coconut body scrub, my dead skin was pulled down the extra large drains that were designed for us reptiles. Lingering in a while longer in the water, I allowed the actual memory of THAT night to play out. 'Maybe I'll be able to get a few more hours of sleep if I do this.' I thought, doubtfully hopeful.

I was in my room at Momma's country home, packing. I was to meet with Raphael Hamato in an hour and a half back in the city. He asked me to pack a weeks worth of clothes and meet him five minutes to midnight behind the club where we met for the first time. I had a gut feeling that we were going to run away from our lives of crimes and at the young and naive age of sixteen, I was happily ready to go with the boy I loved.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and was just opening my bedroom window to leave when the door opened. "So it's true then? You're going to leave me for my enemy." Momma spat as she leaned her hulking grizzly bear body on the door frame.

"Momma!" I cried out in alarm, the fear caused me to jump and fall back into my room.

"You lost right to call me that! No child of mine betray me like you!" She growled low in her broken english. She rose from the door frame and walked in to tower over me in her menacing way. Normally that would work on me, only this time I was determined not to be intimidated away from the one I loved.

"I'm leaving. I am following my heart and running away from here with that whom I love who loves me back." I stood then, getting in her face and holding her gaze even though I was internally terrified.

"After I took you in and made you strong?! You would be dead, if not for me! I welcomed you into my home!" Momma roared.

"Maybe then I would have been at peace! Not, reliving the broken pieces of four years of torture and Hell! Everytime I try to sleep it's there! The knives, the drugs, the chemicals, their hands all over me!" I screamed back, tears spilling forth unwelcomed down my hot cheeks.

"Fine. You feel like that? Then go. But when he asks you to MARRY him, you will say no." She ordered.

"Why would I do that?" I challenged in my anger and fear stricken tone as my blood burned.

"Because you say yes, and run with that boy; I will kill him and drag you back where you will be my Shadow. Kill my enemies without question or hesitation. So, tell him no in most heartbreaking way you can think of." Momma's threat then cut through my bravado. I fell to the floor in defeat and shame, her command was just as heartbreaking as the task.

"Please don't make do that?" I whimpered as the tears flowed even harder.

"I not make you do anything. I give you a choice." She countered in a cold tone.

"I'll tell him no and pledge my undying loyalty to you but please! Let me keep him and his brothers as allies!" I begged. My rational thinking left in my desperation to keep the one I loved at my side as I had promised him I always would.

"Not good enough! He is son of my enemy! If he loves you like you say, he will not give up! You must make him give you up!" Momma argued, and as much as I didn't want her to be right...I knew she was.

*Time skip*

I'm waiting under the lamp by the backdoor to the club, my hood keeping the rain off my head. Mentally I was going over all the ways I should try to do as Momma ordered as painlessly as possible. But I was drawing up blanks, every scenario he either figured out what was going on and was killed or he was his usual stubborn and killed. I had to make it as brutal as possible and play on his insecurities and fears. I was pulled from my dark thoughts by strong arms pulling me off the wall and into a warm toned chest.

"I'm glad you came." Raph's deep accented voice whispered into my ear as I nuzzled into his shirt, memorizing his scent.

"Of course! I promised I would." I whispered back, praying that my breaking heart wouldn't be heard. I must have grabbed onto him too tight because Raph chuckled and asked if I was nervous. "Only a little, I mean, are we really doing the right thing?" I asked allowing some of my fear to slip out. Raph only chuckled again at my response before pulling himself out of my embrace to hold my hands.

"Look Toots, I know that you're worried about Momma Bear and my dad, but together," It was then that he got on one knee, "Together you and I can escape from here without a trace! Will you do this, with me as your one and only?" Raphael asked while pulling out the simple banded ring with the infinity symbol around our initials.

I was almost willing to say screw it to Momma's plan, but it was then that she stepped around the other end of the alley and flashed me her gun, a silent reminder and warning. I looked back to Raph who was still on his knee waiting, and I forced a smile to my lips as I started bawling my eyes out. I took the ring from him and watched as he smiled so brightly to me, for the last time. I learned then how to put a titanium barrier around my heart as I forced my sobs to turn into cruel barks of laughter.

I smashed the rock that was at fist level in my shower, pulling me out of the worst part of that night before it began. The water was now running cold and my muscles and joints were stiffening. My tears were a hot contrast as my heart clenched tightly at the knowledge of what I did next. 'I know his brothers have moved past it, but he hasn't and I haven't forgiven myself for it either. He didn't deserve that.' I told myself as a constant reminder and punishment for giving in to Her like that. I peeled my now bleeding hand out of the wall and held it in the cold water before I turned it off and stepped out.

I walked across my heated tiled floor to the vanity and used my uninjured hand to pull out the first aid kit that I keep under the left sink. It was a minor cut from the jagged edge of the rock I smashed, the bleeding had stopped. I still wrapped a larger band-aid around it, shoved the kit back under my left sink and grabbed a nice heated towel from the rack.

Securing the fluffy, warm fabric to me I made my way through my apartment, up the loft to my bed. I grabbed a plain gray sleeveless turtleneck sweater, no pun intended. That was followed by black skinny jeans and fresh undergarments. Once I was dressed I fell face first into my queen sized mattress. Eventually I rolled onto my back and pulled my secret personal phone out from under my pillow. I held the phone and my eyes caught sight of the first out of four scars on my wrist, that's when I remembered to grab my thick watch off of the nightstand. Securing it back into place so that no one could see what it hid.

I turned my attention back to my phone and as I expected; I had five text messages from the youngest Hamato brother.

11:12 p.m. "Hey Angelcakes! You awake? Wanna go dancing?"

12:12 a.m. "I'm going to take your silence as a "You're asleep right now so the answer is no."

1:45 a.m. "Hey! If you wake up because of a night terror, here's a video of a cat playing 'Chopsticks' WITH CHOPSTICKS!"

2:01 a.m. "Hey Angel, I'm drunk as shit! See?!" Attached was a picture of a very plastered Mikey.

2:27 a.m. "Do you see this?! I look hot as f***!" Attached this time was indeed a very attractive photo of Drunk Mikey. Only this time he was holding the edge of his shirt in his teeth, and he had undone his belt and zipper on his pants. The only thing holding his pants up was his hand that was holding his crotch.

I shook my head in an innocent show of disapproving approval. Nonetheless I saved the image and replied; "You my friend are shit faced and in the last leg of your season. Drink water and go home to bed!" It was after I had hit send did I realize that the last text from him was received over an hour and a half ago. 'Oops, I hope I didn't wake him.'


	2. My Sanctuary

Chapter Two

I laid in bed until my alarm went off at seven thirty, just scrolling through social media. Mikey had had a VERY fun night based off of his Instagram. With a sigh I turned my alarm off before rolling off my bed to land quietly on the main floor in a crouch roll. I used the rolls momentum to stand easily and pocket my secret personal phone.

The phone that Momma gave me that she has outside access to as well as my wallet and fully charged wireless headphones were on my kitchen island. I pocketed both items and wrapped the headphones around my neck before grabbing a grapefruit from the basket in the center of the island and a protein shake from the fridge. 'I think I'll polish the banisters and railings today. Yeah really get them to shine as I work my memories from tonight into the grain.' I thought as I pulled on my hightops and tied them.

A clap of thunder shook my apartment walls and I sighed as another echoed from the memory that I've been fighting with all night. I managed to force it down, for now, as I ripped into my grapefruit. I grabbed my deep red, almost black, hoodie from the coat rack near the door once I was finished with my snack. I pulled it over my smooth and slightly scaly head and checked that my keys were in the pocket as usual. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before shoving it into my pocket and leaving my apartment.

I locked the door and set the security alarm from the phone that Momma gave me. She put me up in a prestigious apartment complex in the middle of NYC and makes me treat it like some shack in Harlem. Without a sound I made my way down the hall to the elevator, it's my only day off this week and I had it all planned out. While I was waiting for the elevator, I got a call from Momma.

"Da?" I answered.

"Kuda ty idesh?" (Where are you going?) She asked.

"V teatr, gde ya vsegda uyezzhayu." (To the theater where I always go.) I replied flatly. I could hear her growl in annoyance as I stepped onto the elevator. Personally, I was tired of the micromanaging from her, but I don't feel like dying just yet. So I shut it and suck it up.

"Vy znayete, chto vy dolzhny skazat mne kuda vy napravlyayetes', prezhde chem uyti." (You know that you must tell me where you're going before you leave.) She stated.

"Ya znayu, no moya rutina nas tol'ko predskazuyema, ya predpolagal, chto vy uzhe znali." (I know, but my routine is so predictable that I thought you already knew.) I returned in an innocent tone, lazily leaning on the wall of the elevator.

"Yeshche net. V sleduyushiy raz, kogda vyskazhete mne, kuda idete." (Not yet. The next time you tell me where you're going.) Momma growled.

"Okay Momma, I will. I love you and will talk to you later." My English reply an indicator that I was now in a public space as the elevator opened and I stepped out.

"Stay safe." Was the last thing she said before hanging up. I pulled my phone away to see that I had a text from Mr. Moon that the doors were unlocked. With a sigh I put my phone back in my pocket and crossed the lobby. The rain outside was a dark wall with refracted light flashes every now and then.

I pulled my hood up and stepped out to make my way to the subway station to get to the Moon Theater. It made me smile a little to know that I've built such a strong trust with Mr. Moon. I've been cleaning his theater for free ever since I followed a target there and fell in love with the design of the place. Plus Mrs. Crawley was struggling when I had been watching my target perform horribly in the rehearsal so it became the perfect cover. It was so relaxing just ignoring the world and cleaning that I made an arrangement with Momma that I could keep going back.

'I know that Momma means well. She really has started seeing me as her actual daughter again...It's just sooo annoying that she has to monitor me and even went so far as to bug my apartment!' I fumed silently as I walked three blocks to the subway entrance. I had to remind myself that she was starting to genuinely care about me again so I don't do something stupid...again.

Before I knew it, I was out of the rain and on the train headed for lower side NYC. It was in these crowded tunnels that I could check my personal phone, so I did. No messages from my "friends" so I occupied my time with a fashion game on my "work" phone. The train pulled up to a stop and bodies were moving around me, I quickly moved to my favorite spot. The pole along the wall in front of the doors.

I ignored the animals moving around me until my stop was called. I then made a casual exit from the station and traveled the remaining blocks to the theater in semi-peace. My hoodie was cold and wet in the wind but the sun rays were nice and welcoming. At least it kept things mostly easy to move until I got to the heated theater.

I was climbing the steps to the doors when they busted open with Mr. Moon jumping onto his bike. I only smiled slightly and shook my head at the sight. Walking in however caused my smile to disintegrate as the loud noise of complaining animals reached my ear holes.

'Mr. Moon is VERY lucky I VOLUNTEER here.' I thought as I made my way up the grand staircase.

The balcony was spotless, thanks to me, with vacuumed red velvet seats and dusted wall sconces and molds. The growing volume in angry animals was the only thing keeping me from smiling in pride at my work. I had removed my hoodie and hung it over a chair arm when the animals entered the stage. Sure enough, it was the stage crew from Mr. Moon's last show stomping their way to the exit. That is until they noticed me near the railing watching in amusement.

"Hey you! Lizard! Where's Moon?!" An angry penguin shouted up to me.

"Do I look like I know, clown?" I snapped with a frown.

"Moon likes you, he trusts you! I bet he even paid you!" A giraffe accused as she marched over to me, her head barely reaching the railing. I was done with this lot at that point.

"Listen up, long neck," I spat angrily while jumping up and balancing on the railing, "I just got here. I haven't seen Mr. Moon since the last time I was here. I strictly volunteer because I know better than the stupid lot of you. Now, if you want to keep accusing me of taking money from him, I will happily meet you out back and show you why I don't need it. No? Then get your slack jawed mugs out my face and out of my theater!"

The animals started getting their fur raised so I rolled my eyes and gave up on being polite. Using the railing, I flung myself over the edge and their heads. I dropped dramatically behind them in the "superhero" pose, which really hurt my knees, tail twitching I hissed from the back of my throat. It did the trick as the hippo picked up the beaver and penguin, the monkey hanging onto his back while ushering the giraffe out the doors.

I sighed in relief that they didn't force me to backup my bark, I really liked coming here. Looking up to the balcony I decided I needed a cup of coffee before starting. I turned towards the stage and made my way up to the manager's office on the second floor. I could hear Mrs. Crawley humming to herself as I reached the top as she started the coffee pot.

"Good morning Mrs. Crawley, you are an angel!" I cried as I entered the office, I'm only twenty one, mornings are not my friend no matter how long I've already been awake.

"Good morning Ellie, coffee is almost ready." The senile, old Iguana greeted with a small giggle.

"Thank the gods, I don't think I can work straight with the mood those animals left me in." I groaned as I sat at the piano, the heavenly scent of coffee filled the room.

"Yeah, Mr. Moon needs to get funding and soon." Mrs. Crawley snapped in a forced cheery tone. My eyebrow ridge rose in shock from her tone and felt myself holding back a bit of laughter.

"Wow...Mrs. Crawley I didn't think there was an angry cell in your body." I commented with a big smile.

"I don't normally, but that Judith can throw a big fuss at the wrong animal." Mrs. Crawley told me in her normal tone as she started to make a cup of coffee for me. I let out a dramatic breath and made a big scene of showing my relief. "Aight, I just don't want you joining the Dark side is all Ma'am."

That got a laugh out of the innocent woman as she handed me my wonderful magical potion. I thanked her and said that I was going to drink this on my way to getting supplies. Which I did, the warm creamy and barely sweet beverage was almost gone by the time I crossed the stage to the cleaning cupboard. I grabbed two towels and the polish tin and threw those into a bucket to carry them in while I finished my cup. I then worked on connecting my headphones to my personal phone as I walked up the "service" stairs that lead to the box seats.

I played a random song from a video game that Mikey had sent me and just shuffled the rest of the playlist. I put my coffee cup and bucket down just outside the royal box, grabbed a towel and the polish tin and got to work. The song I was listening to was a nice mix of english and korean about women power. 'I can see why Mikey thought of me when he found this.' I thought with a smirk.

I was humming to myself on the other side of the auditorium balcony when I noticed Mr. Moon enter. He was also humming to himself, until he heard me and he stopped walking to find me nearly finished with the box I was in. I had stopped paying attention to him and had thought he left for his office, so I had started fully singing.

"I was fine, with the men, who would come into my life now and again. I was fine, cause I knew, that they didn't really matter until...you." Good memories of when Raph and I were dating started to surface. "I was fine, when you came, and we fought like it was some silly game." The smile that had come with those memories faded as they did into the one from this morning. "Then there's her, she made me choose. After all those years, I never thought I'd lose...you." I made myself stop singing by pulling my headphones out as I threw the towel into the bucket to wipe my face.

"Ellie! That was beautiful!" Mr. Moon shouted up to me.

My heart froze as since I was caught singing and my cheeks burned from the embarrassment. I forced my tears to stop as I walked to the edge, reminding myself not to lean on the railing. "Oh, hey Mr. Moon! I'm sorry, I thought that you had gone into your office." I apologized.

"Are you seriously apologizing? Ellie that was the most beautiful and emotional song I ever heard! Please join my singing competition?!" Mr. Moon begged.

"I'm sorry Mr. Moon, but I can't. I'm not as good as you are saying that I am." I tried to counter, the truth was that I couldn't step into the spotlight. I can't be noticed or recognized and a singing competition might actually draw a crowd.

"Oh but please? If you do then I might actually have a chance at saving my theater." Mr. Moon told me. He didn't say it with a manipulative tone or any hint of a guilt trip. He was being genuine in his statement, and it was killing me.

"Let me think about it? When are the auditions?" I asked.

"They are in two days Ellie, please consider it? I mean what I say, you are truly talented and exactly what I need for this show." Mr. Moon answered with the biggest smile. He then took off to his office with an excited cheer, no doubt to tell Mrs. Crawley. I couldn't help but smile at the enthusiastic kholah and felt my personal phone go off. It was a text from Mikey and a message from Raph.

1:27 p.m. "Hey Angelcakes, you volunteer at the old theater in southside right?"

1:27 p.m. "Hey Ellie, are you cleaning the theater that you volunteer at today?" Yes, Raph and I still talk, but he doesn't know that he's been talking to ME. He thinks that I'm a turtle named Ellie with a micromanaging FATHER that is a bar waitress, not a mob assassin. Everything else about me I've kept true towards him so that we could still be connected without him hating me or any of his brothers or Momma finding out.

"Yeah, why? What's up?" I sent back to both of them and then stuck my phone back in my front pocket. I picked up the bucket and polish tin, moving over to the final box seat on this side of the auditorium. I couldn't feel a reply so I started working on the railing, I was halfway done when my music cut out for Raph's messenger ringtone. I hesitated in answering but knew that I'd raise suspicion if I didn't

"Hello?" I asked in a lighter, much more feminine tone.

"Hey, you weren't replying to my messages so I figured this would be easier." Raph told me with a smile to his voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't feel my phone vibrate, I've been cleaning." I answered in an innocent tone. I could hear him chuckle lightly and Mikey in the background was asking who Raph was talking to.

"None ya business Mikey." Raph snapped at him, " Sorry bout that, little brothers are annoying." He told me, only I heard it over my headphones and from down the hall.

"Raph? Are you here?" I asked, fear rising in my throat as the auditorium doors opened.

"Surprise! You would have been able to greet us at the door and guide us to the manager's office if you had gotten my messages. I could have also gotten that hug you've been promising me." He teased, walking in with Mikey right beside him.

I blushed furiously at the sight of both of them as Mikey looked up and immediately found me, standing out in the open. I dropped so fast as Raph started to turn in my direction and he asked Mikey what he was looking at. "So, where are you?" Raph then asked me.

"Um, the bathroom. But, hey, the manager's office is just past the first rehearsal room and up the stairs, I'll be there soon. I need to wash polish off my hands." I told him after I had crawled my way into the bathroom.

"Aight, I look forward to seeing you." Raph told me and I had to stop the building guilt that was starting to choke my throat.

"Me too." I whispered, hoping I had come across as shy or nervous and not heartbroken and terrified. I then hung up and waited a few minutes, actually washing the wood polish off of my shaking hands. I needed to get out of here and soon, I know that Momma has a watch on this place and that this will raise flags. It hurt to type up the same text to Mr. Moon and Raph but I needed an out and this father figure I've created to be so cruel and controlling is my best option.

"I'm very sorry to leave but my father just called me and he's drunk and wants me home to make him food." With that I bolted out of the bathroom to grab my hoodie from the seat near the exit to the grand staircase. I smoothly slid down the railing, crashed out the front doors and took off at top speed to the subway station.


	3. Guess the Cat's Out of the Bag

Chapter 3

I pulled out my work phone and sent Momma a text that told her that I left the theater early while I ran to the subway. Hopefully she wouldn't ask why, or even better, that she already knew why because of the tail I'm sure was on this place. "Khoroshiy vybor." (Good choice.) Was the response that I got and confirmed my suspicion.

I mentally cursed at her as I put my phone in my back pocket, I pulled my hoodie on and threw the hood up as I reached the entrance. I trudged through the tail end of the lunch rush for a Monday at a calmer pace as my breath returned. Once I reached the platform though, the back of my neck started to tingle like I had multiple pairs of eyes on me. I was so uncomfortable and it wasn't like I was dressed crazy or anything! So I did a casual scan "for the train" and found a few mammals that were suspicious and a couple of turtles at the other end of the platform.

Those turtles, however, held my attention the most as I pulled out my personal phone and saw a couple of texts from Mikey and a few messages from Raph. I sighed hard through the nose and opened Mikey's texts first.

1:49 p.m. "What the f*** Lizzy?! You've been talking to Raph this whole time?!"

1:50 p.m. "You know what? I'm super pissed right now with you!"

1:50 p.m. "There's a party at the docks; be there at 10."

I was honestly upset that Mikey figured it out and that he's taking it so badly. I can understand why he's so mad at me, the kid literally hunted me down for two weeks after what I did! Mikey is the only one who really knows what happened that night and why. We told his brothers that it was to get Momma to trust me so that I could take over for her. It took them a couple of years and maximum effort from Mikey to get them to even meet with me.

The fact that Mikey actually is commanding me to be somewhere means that there's no room to argue. I can't play the "Momma" card on him and if I bail, we're done and I don't want that. So I sent him a text back saying; "Okay. I'm sorry."

I didn't look at the messages from Raph because I couldn't deal with both of them being upset with me. The animals around me started to move closer to me and that set off warning bells. 'The intercom hasn't gone off that train is coming, so why move up?' I had a growing gnawing feeling in my gut that I was being cornered. A glance in my peripheral told me that I was being closed in on by those turtles!

I shifted uncomfortably like any normal pedestrian would when others get too close for comfort, and stepped forward. That was when my saving grace came from a gray Ox noticing my situation and walking up to me. "Excuse me Miss, but is everything okay over here?" The Ox asked with a british accent. He then tucked his thumb into his waistband, simultaneously pulling his jacket open to reveal a police badge.

"No problems here, Officer. Just reptiles trying to share the warmth." Came an accented voice, kinda southern NY, from a few feet behind me.

"Very well, there's plenty of sunshine up top, why don't you catch the next train?" The cop then suggested in a no shit taking tone.

"Aiight, I'll be seeing you again I'm sure, 13." The voice said.

I gasped in terror as I whipped around to be met with the back of the turtle as he made his way to a group in the shadowed corner of the stairway. I started shaking, hard. No one knows about 13. Not even Momma! So whoever that guy was, knew me and if he was with TCRI, then I was going to kill him before he could take me back.

"Are you alright Miss?" The Ox asked me.

"No, I'm sorry but that guy really scared me." I answered honestly, trying not to freak out about the fact that a cop is trying to console a mob assassin. Thankfully the train was arriving with a loud whistle. When it came to a stop and the animals came out, I got on and the Ox followed me, his back up following us.

"I think that we should escort you, he did say that he would come after you again. I'm Officer Bogo and this is my partner, Officer Clawhauser. Do you happen to know who he was?" The Ox asked.

"No. I've never heard him in life, and I didn't even see his face so I couldn't tell you why he came after me." Again, honest answers to seem like an innocent bystander just trying to catch a train. I took a seat next to the door and Officer Bogo sat next to me, his cheetah partner sat across from us.

"Well that young man is the leader of a rising gang of him and his brothers, we've followed them from Zootopia. They are wanted for affiliation with a mob and their own misconduct. Now, would you have any idea why he called you; "13"? Is there any significance to that number to you?" Officer Bogo asked.

"That was my number on the volleyball team I was on back in California, otherwise no." I have no idea if that was a lie, I have no memory from before I was ten. I grabbed onto the railing as the train started to take off and I was still a little rattled. 'How in the hell did that guy know to call me 13? Am I going to have to leave? What will Momma say?'

"Well, we are willing to stay with you until your stop, and then we will have to get back to tracking those guys down." Officer Clawhauser informed, though I'm sure that was his way of reminding his partner about their objective.

"Tracking? Like, did you put a tracker on them or something?" I added that t.v. based stupidity knowledge tone. That earned a chuckle from the two officers and I was confused because it is actually possible to plant something to track on a person, just not like the shows.

"Something like that. You don't have to worry, if we find them getting close to your stop we'll send a car to patrol." Officer Bogo assured me, but internally it had the opposite effect from the smile of relief I plastered on my face.

"Thank you so much, I'm a few more stops away." I replied, slouching into the seat. All I wanted to do was to actually jump out the window and run through the tunnels and warn Momma about everything that has happened today. Which reminded me that I needed to tell her that I was headed for the apartment.

I pulled out my work phone and sent her the fastest text in my life in the code that told her not to call or reply. I shoved it back into my pocket with one hand and the other waited a few seconds before pulling out my personal phone to check the messages from Raph. Why? Because I needed a distraction from the awkwardness that was slowing starting to build.

1:50 p.m. "Hey, I'm sorry that your dad is being a dick. Maybe next time you'll get my messages sooner so I can finally take you away from that hell."

1:55 p.m. "You know, there's going to be a party down at the docks, once He passes out you should come down and dance with me?"

I sent a "maybe" as my answer and closed the phone when I heard the call for the stop before mine. I sighed happily that I will finally be able to get to my apartment and sleep the day away. The day is literally mine to do as I please until midnight when I become Momma's personal assassin and have to "Yes, Momma" my life away until next Monday. So I could definitely use a party for a distraction with Mikey as my dance partner.

'Damn, either I caught their scent or my season is about to start.' I warned myself as I thought of the picture that Mikey had sent me earlier this morning and imagining his possessiveness caused my face to flush. Thankfully that was when the train called out my stop and I stood waiting for the doors to open.

"Here's my card, in case those Punks try anything again." Officer Bogo said, a business card held out to me.

"Thank you, if I see them again, I'll be sure to call." I replied as the car doors opened and I stepped out, pocketing the card in my jeans butt pocket.

I was able to make it inside my apartment door in record time from stepping off the train. I fell against the door and slid to the floor, a sigh escaping my lips as the stress from the last hour settled into my bones. 'This day is probably officially over for me until the party. Oh yeah, how in the hell am I going to swing that with Momma?' I asked myself.

Usually Mikey would "hire" me through Momma to meet with him as a client, tonight I'm on my own. Tonight Mikey is testing me and when I do make it tonight, I won't be greeted so friendly at first. These facts floating in my head were NOT helping me figure out a way to convince Momma to give me extra time to myself for tonight. 'Maybe I can tell her about the run in with the cops and that guy who knew me...his voice...it was so familiar. Why is his voice familiar to me?!'

I could feel a headache brewing behind my eyes from how hard I have been wracking my mind for the answer. I gave up with a sigh and forced my aching butt up off the ground, throwing my work phone and wallet on the island. I decided on another hot shower so I could be clean for my short nap, then deal with coming up with a plan to get to the party. The time it took to wash, rinse and then redress in a shirt I had stolen from Raph years ago and shorts, wasn't very long and I barely had a chance to think! I hugged myself as the memory of Raph smiling while talking to me earlier today came back to me, whether it was out of the need of comfort or support still eluded me.

'I wish Raph knew that it was me who was making him smile. I wish that I could tell him that I still love him...but do I? I know that if he asked me to date again I would say yes...but now there's Mikey...He's been the best friend that I could ask for! I never knew how badly I needed his friendship until I thought I had lost it, and maybe I have! I have been talking to his brother behind his back for the last year now, the one that I hurt the most and he's the same one who has said that if he ever saw me again, he'd kill me.' I let out a deep sigh as my thoughts continued.

'When I'm with Mikey I can forget about Raph, I can forget that I have killed, used and hurt people because She made I'm with Mikey I feel safe, like in his arms I could be free from this life. I had felt that way with Raph too, Gods! Is Mikey just a rebound?! Have I been fooling him and myself?!' This new realization deeply disturbed my soul and I pulled my extra pillow tightly to my chest.

'I don't want to think that I've been using Mikey, he doesn't deserve that. Shit, I've been an assassin for five years and NOW I'm worried about boys like a teen?! My head is so backwards I think Underland would be easier to understand. Mikey...there's just something so familiar and comforting about him. He and his brothers have been familiar to me ever since I met them...like I had met them before then...are they from my past and they just couldn't say anything to me? I'm going to ask Mikey about it when I get back on his good side.' I resolved with a small nod, sleep finally tugging at the tops of my eyes.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I found that I couldn't. My eyes were so tired and my body was too sore to move anything that wasn't a necessity. I could feel the pressure of the padded restraint cuffs around my wrists and ankles. I could see and feel the light just past my eyelids, but there was no real sound. Even as the cart I was laying on was being moved and the light disappeared I couldn't really hear anything. My back, ribs, arms and face were a giant papercut in the Dead Sea and every jostle of the cart reopened any sealed wounds.

Then I could hear the sound of what I assumed was my cage being unlocked painfully drowning out my other senses. I didn't know that I had moved until I heard whispering and then a poke into a cut in my arm. I released a deep hiss of pain and the figures around me shuffled, some closer and some farther. "Are you really alive?" a voice asked, a boy I guessed.

"I wish I wasn't." I managed to croak out in the mix of coughing fits.

"Guys, let's free her." An even younger boys voice suggested. For a moment I felt a flutter of hope.

"Wait." The first voice commanded. "What did you do to earn this?" He asked, his suspicion clear and honestly admirable.

"I bit the dick off of the head scientist after he had forced it down my throat." I once again managed, but just barely as I started to choke at the end. I suddenly felt four pairs of hands on my wrist and ankles, freeing me before I knew to react. I then felt immense pain in my back as I was lifted upright to get better access between my lungs and the air I was lacking.

"Holy shit!" A third voice whispered from right behind my ear, his hand had just grazed my back and I tried to repress my scream of pain.

"Are you hurt anywhere else? I can make bandages out my shirt-" "Don't! You're not allowed to undress without THEIR permission. I'll make do, I just won't be lying comfortably for a while. You guys should just forget about me and worry about yourselves." I interrupted a fourth voice.

"Ya know toots, I like you. What's your name?" The first voice asked.

"My NUMBER is 13. It's better to forget your names in this place, to try and go by them is almost punishable by death. They don't want kids in here, just test subjects that they can have die on them and they won't have to care about anything but a failed test result." I introduced, with no small amount of annoyance.

"Fine, in that case, I'm 79, these are my brothers; 78, 77 with 76 being the youngest of us.

I finally managed to spit into my hands and wipe away the dried blood from around my eyes, gently. I opened my hazel green eyes to a sight of sapphire blue, ice blue, red and toxic green eyes staring right back at me. "You're all idiots for helping me. I'm the "favorite" because I've survived the longest, get too close and you might be too. But that might not happen now because the guy in charge died from blood loss." I told them with a sadistic yet calm smile.

"I'm sure we've been surviving longer than you toots, and we're gonna be bustin' outta here as soon as we can. Stone walls can't hold down street rats like us!" 79 claimed boldly. I could only smile at him and his words, the innocent minds that haven't been here long enough to know what hell is like. If only I had known those brothers story sooner, we probably could have escaped sooner. 76 and I would have kept our promise to each other, an image of me giving a ring back to him with the promise to come back for it after my test in the hug I stole.

If only I had known that I would have died during that test, I wouldn't have given the ring back. I would have kissed him instead of the hug, and I would have fought with every tooth and nail for all of us to escape right then and there. Those monsters made weapons that they only controlled through fear, piss us off enough and we could have seriously raised hell on earth for them. If only I hadn't of died enough for them to think I was dead for real, my body rejecting every jolt or dose of adrenaline they tried to use. We would all be free now, and I would be staring into the ice blue eyes that loved me.


	4. A Small Reprieve

Chapter 4

I woke with a start, curling in tightly on myself as the heartache and the headache worked in tandem to tear me in half! I screamed when the pain in my heart became too much to bear in silence. I screamed until my voice was raw, and for the second time today, I felt my heart shredding itself. The shock that I had forgotten my friends was grave, but the fact that I had DIED was really what was killing me. 'They must have told them I was dead, they think I'm dead. What if they're dead…' The thoughts sickened me, but reality was heavy on the forefront of my mind.

I was sobbing and shaking near violently that I didn't hear my phone going off on the island. I was in hysterics over these new memories that were flooding my mind. Us being beaten just for laughing, being kept apart for fighting with the orderlies, our lives being threatened to keep us in line. The similarities between that life and the one I have were now adding a new layer of shock to my nerves. I don't think I could take much more of this new information, and I panicked. I bolted over the edge of my loft and landed hard on my side, hoping the external pain from that would distract the internal pain. It did briefly, what broke me from my thoughts was my door being busted in forcibly and two bears and a gorilla walking in, guns raised and headed for me.

"NO!" I screamed, rage and fear clashing reality with my memories so the animals before me were in lab coats, not grunge wear. "I WILL DIE AGAIN BEFORE GOING BACK!"

I then pushed myself up onto my palms, using my tail as a counter balance before whipping it low and aiming for ankles. When I landed the hit with my tail it knocked over the two bears in front and I was able to spin my tail behind me to boost me to my feet and straight into a lunge. The gorilla was faster though and was able to grab me first around the waist, stopping my hands just shy of his neck. The gorilla then threw me into the staircase and I cried out in pain when my back hit the jagged edge. That didn't stop me though, I saw the bears getting back up and closing in at a sprint.

At the last possible second I grabbed the stairs and pulled myself up to roundhouse kick the first bear in the temple, he dropped with a quaking thud. The second one was smart, dropping his gun to grab my ankle and pull me from my leverage point. Only I used that momentum towards him to bring my fist down hard on his snout causing the bear to roar in pain. He dropped me to cradle his gushing nose and I turned my attention to the gorilla in time to see his fist swipe at my face.

I leaned back to get a graze of his ring that sliced open my cheek instead of a blackout hit to the head. I brought my open palmed fists in front of my face as I prepared for the fight to come while stepping away from the groaning animals on the floor. I could feel the hot trickle of my blood on my cheek which pissed me off enough to hiss at the guy before me. The gorilla started circling with a passive face and I mimicked his movements, tail twitching in impatience for him to make the first move. I blinked and the gun in his hand became a syringe, or had it always been one?

Either way, I decided that I was done waiting for him to inject me with whatever was in it and charged him. He seemed to be expecting that because he stepped back just enough for a feint left before catching me with a right uppercut, snapping my jaw shut. I saw stars long enough for the gorilla to land a right jab to my gut and a left hook to my face. He definitely was holding a gun because I was lights out after that hit.

I woke up some time later and found myself leaning against my staircase, unrestrained but calm and sore enough to know that I had my ass handed to me. I looked up to see the bears I had taken out, one of them was holding an ice pack to his head while the other had one to his nose. I realize now that the gorilla that had escorted them was Mario, the guy literally taught me what I knew minus a few things so it didn't surprise me that he was the one who stopped me. "Where's…" My voice caught in my throat with how dry and raw it was.

"Mario went to greet Momma at the door, he'll be back any second now." The bear whose nose I probably broke answered. He was right though, I didn't have too long to get vertical before the door opened and Momma walked in. We all bowed, I suppressed a wince when the muscles around Mario's hit screamed with my action. When we straightened Momma dismissed the bears and Mario, leaving just us in my gifted apartment.

"Chto sluchilos'?" (What happened?) Momma asked, scanning my apartment.

"YA vernul nekotoryye vospominaniya." (I got some memories back.) I answered honestly, I couldn't lie when I needed something from her.

"Vospominaniya zastavili tebya izbit' moikh lyudey i ignorirovat' moi zvonki?" (Memories caused you to beat my men and ignore my calls?) Momma accused, her suspicion clear and her source for it obvious.

"YA vspomnil smert'." (I remembered dying.) Was my blunt response. "Vot tak mne udalos' sbezhat' iz TCRI. Oni vybrosili to, chto schitali trupom." (That's how I managed to escape TCRI. They threw out what they thought was a corpse.)

The shock on Momma's face was a rare sight to behold so plainly across her features. She was able to recover quickly with a nod and smoothing of her suit blouse, but she said nothing. She had me waiting in silence for her to say something before I could ask her for anything.

"Chto-nibud' yeshche?" (Anything else?) She asked me.

"No." I bluffed, hiding it with a tired sigh as I rubbed my itching cheek only to wince in pain from aggravating the cut. Momma closed the distance between us and gently touched my throbbing cheek.

"Momma, can I go out tonight? After finding out about dying, it scared me and with those, boys, invading my space; I haven't really been able to enjoy my only day off." I almost spat venom when I brought up the Hamato brothers. I had to play innocent to their presence, which wouldn't really be an act. I had no clue that they were showing up to my theater and I had a hunch as to why and I didn't like it.

"Maybe, first, you tell me why they were there." Momma growled, leading me into my bathroom and getting my first aid kit out.

"I don't know this for sure, but I have a feeling that it has to do with a singing competition that Mr. Moon is hosting. It's his last attempt at saving the theater, he even asked me to sing. Crazy man thinks that I could draw a small crowd with my voice. The Hamatos were probably there to make him some sort of offer for a prize." I muttered the last bit to myself and Momma froze with her back to me.

"You haven't sung in years." Momma whispered, turning to face me with the supplies forgotten, "Why does this Moon think that you can sing?"

"Oh...he must have heard me humming or something while I was cleaning?" I offered weakly. Momma stared at me in her masked shock, my stomach squirming in the awkward attention. "I didn't want to tell you about the theater failing because I was going to take it on as my own. I was going to buy the theater from him and earn profits off it while keeping the space where I feel the most...stable…"

It wasn't a lie really, I was going to use my savings to buyout the loan he had from the bank and allow Mr. Moon to keep living and making productions there. I just really couldn't mentally afford to lose that space. I was able to work out my feelings without being destructive, without hurting anyone and while actually making a contribution to something. I have always hated my missions where I was forced to kill people, it always felt wrong to me.

"I know what this place means to you, but if those people are going to be there then I will not allow you to return." Momma resolved and I could hear a splintering sound in the back of my mind. "And if you are going to be singing anywhere, it will be to me in my home."

"Yes, Momma." I conceded, my eyes and voice going blank as the mere thought of losing my only safe place started reverting me back to just a tool for her. She was silent as she started cleaning the wound on my face. The sting of the alcohol not even really phasing me past normal body reactions like my eyes tearing and adding another level of sting .

"I will allow you to go out tonight and tomorrow you will not have any assignments so that you may tell this Moon, that you can no longer go back to his theater. You will spend the rest of the day finding a new place to work out your mind." Momma told me, maybe she was hoping that would cheer me up. Maybe she saw it as a reward for my compliance to her will, either way I smiled brightly at her as a way of thanks even though inside I was still regressing.

"There's a party down at the docks that I heard about on the train, it'll be kicking off around 10." I told her, my subtle way of reporting to her without it sounding like I was reporting.

"Sounds like a good distraction." Momma said in her way of saying I could go.

"Thank you." I whispered in my most sincere voice. She said nothing but smiled before leaving the bathroom and the supplies for me to clean up. I followed her to the door and opened it for her, bowing my head in outward respect as she passed the threshold into the hallway. Once Mario closed the door behind her, I was left to let my smile melt from my face.

'This has been both what I had been hoping for and what I had been fearing.' I thought to myself. On one hand, I was really happy to have until midnight TOMORROW night off; on the other, I was upset that I was losing the only sanctuary I had from this hell hole of a life. I balled my hands into tight shaking fists as I breathed in through my nose exhaled out my mouth trying to calm down. 'The best that can come from this is that I find a new place and tonight Mikey will help me find it like the amazing friend he is. Maybe I can even ask if he's seen anyone who looks just like him...no I can't have hope that they're still alive. I wouldn't wish that upon them in THAT place.'

The clock on the coffee maker said that I had about an hour and a half until I needed to head to the docks but I wasn't going to risk telling Mikey that right now. Momma could turn around and walk in just because she felt like it and everything would be game over from there. She would kill me and then start an all out war between her and the Hamatos because I had felt ballsy. So, hard pass on that and full steam ahead in cleaning up my bathroom and getting ready to party.

'Guess I'll just have to surprise him then.' I conceded mentally, assuring myself that he still believed in me to make it. 'Then there's Raph...what do I tell him? If I tell him I'm going and what I'll be wearing, it'll be a dead give away and he'll hate me even more. If I tell him that I can't make it, it will be the second time that I'll have lied to him and in the same day! I was doing so good! I mean yeah, he thinks I've got an evil Dad, all that I have changed is the gender...and what my job is...that's it...so I'm good, right?'

I mulled over my inner turmoil as I put the first aid kit supplies away back under the left side of my vanity. I stared at the empty wall and when I couldn't find an immediate easy answer I ended up saying "Screw it." I walked out and saw the little amount of damage done by the fight, my arm throbbing slightly when I noticed a small crack in the floor from my fall. I made a mental note to get a floor rug for it when I went out shopping again.

"What to wear?" I asked the thin air. Getting to my wardrobe in the corner of my room was my next objective, then the outfit. The stairs hurt my ribs and hip that I had landed on and I can remember hitting my back on the exposed side of the stairs, I just didn't have sensitive nerves in my back anymore. "Oh, duh, the ONLY party outfit that I have."

I started to pull my shirt off when I remembered that it was Raphs and for some reason; seeing the old and cracking band t-shirt on me gave the comfort that his hugs did. So that's where I decided to be bold and kept it on, knowing that he'd be there. I did strip of my shorts then pulled on my black "hott" pants with naturally made rips and a chain wallet attached with at least three hundred dollars in cash and a debit card. I found my spiked knee-high heeled boots under my bed and pulled them on after unlacing the back to fit my slightly larger calves.

Once those were secured, I went to my bathroom. There I pulled out a makeup bag and counter mirror that was only big enough to show my face. I paused to stare at my olive green leathery skin, my hazel green eyes filled with yellows and freckles that were encapsulated in a solid blue ring along the edge of my iris. Even though they were vibrant in colour, my eyes gave off the expression of dead inside. I shook my head and focused on finding my eyeliner, mascara and eyeshadow.

'Mikey better find me irresistable tonight after all of this effort.' I found myself thinking. I blushed at the images that followed those words and tried to steer my mind back onto the task at hand. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if something happened tonight. It would probably be the distraction that I needed from what happened today. With my luck though, I probably will just get teased to high hell and then be left to me, myself and cold showers.

When I was done I had forty five minutes until the party started. So with one last check over my near perfect look, thanks to hours of practice for attending meetings with Momma, I nodded and put the makeup and mirror away under the right sink. I found a black beanie and thick and heavy black bomber jacket in my coat closet by the door. I shoved my work phone into a pocket and then headed out the door, locking it and sending Momma the text that I was leaving. I made my way out of the building, lots of people either coming to or going from the apartment complex made it easy for me to slip out undetected.


	5. A Happy(?) Reunion

Chapter 5

The subway wasn't overly crowded due to it being Monday, but there were still enough people that I felt comfortable pulling my personal phone out from my bra. I had no new messages from Mikey, but I had a few from Raph. I didn't hesitate to open them but then quickly held my phone close to my chest, my face burning! Raphael had sent me pictures of him shirtless, sweaty and sexy. THEN HE CAPTIONED IT; 'HUNGRY FOR MY HONEY.' I just about had a nosebleed inducing moment right then and there.

I admitted that I had a physical attraction to him a while ago and he started teasing me relentlessly about it near the beginning of his season. I had to warn him about my "Dad" walking in and finding these kinds of photos when he started sending nudes. He stopped after I insisted, though I did spend about an hour enjoying myself later that night, which I admitted to him when he asked. 'Maybe wearing his shirt was a bad idea...TOO LATE NOW!' I thought as the train pulled into the station.

I got on the train, my face still burning since I had to open the app again to reply. I told him that I was going to go since my "Dad" was having people over and I could escape. I had no idea how I was going to get myself out of this one, my stomach in knots as I thought of Raph, Mikey and 76. The three guys that I have had enough emotion attached too to dare say that I loved at one point or another, currently or in the past.

My heart weeped over 76 and the love lost there, hoping that he wasn't in that hell anymore. My heart yearned for Raph to understand that I still want him and that I was only trying to protect him. My heart hurt the most for Mikey, I did genuinely care for him and didn't want to hurt him. I maybe even wanted to find out if there could be a future for us if I was free. I also wanted to make sure that I wasn't projecting my feelings for 76 on him, that I really wanted Mikey for the energetic and approachable person that he is.

The train ride felt like it was both stretching time and flying threw it at light speed! When it did reach the stop for the docks I noticed there were more animals in party clothes and exiting with me. "I've heard that the turtles who are hosting this thing are new to town and MEGA hott." I overheard a gazelle telling her doe friend.

"Oooh, maybe they'll need someone to welcome them in." The doe returned giggling, oozing pheromones as the pair walked past.

I rolled my eyes at the pair and held down a gag, they were both clearly in season and weren't even trying to hide it! It made me wonder what kind of party this really was going to turn out to be, and if it was a trap. 'No! Mikey would never do something like that to me no matter how mad he is.' I assured myself as I ended up following the pair at a distance, upwind! Speaking of, the wind was cold as usual near the ocean, so I zipped up the jacket.

When we all reached the docks there were a few animals at this point walking along the sidewalks, chatting or pre-gaming. A few of them tried to include me but I would make small enough responses that they got the hint and moved on ahead to the pair in front where they had a little more luck expanding their group. They were good people just trying to have fun and include people, I was just focused on getting to Mikey. I felt my phone go off in my pocket, checking it showed that it was Raph's ecstatic reply and him asking for a way to find me. I turned it around in asking if he could tell me where he was so I could find HIM.

10:12 p.m.; "I'm kinda in the middle of something, so if you want to wait at the bar, I'll find you when I'm done. ;)"

That piqued my curiosity, but I didn't press him and replied with simple; "Okay. :)"

It was then that I got to the door with the group of people ahead of me and the lights and lasers could be seen with the thickening fog. A bouncer was collecting phones at the door, so I gave him my work one. The bass was nice and loud, really vibrating my skin and I decided to listen to Raph suggestion by making my way to the bar. Except, instead of telling Raph that was where I was, I told Mikey. Right now I figured the best thing to do was to order a drink, or three, and wait for Mikey to approach me.

The first two drinks came and went fast, being two shots of tequila, then I sipped on my mixed drink. I watched the animals here start jumping or grinding, whichever was their prefered method to dance, allowing my mind to fill with the bass and music. I was pulled from my lack of thoughts when I felt someone staring at me and getting closer. A side glance told me it was Mikey. I chugged the last of my drink, ordering another as he walked up to me.

The first thing I noticed was how he smelled like cinnamon and cloves, then his cold stare at me. I looked away, knowing why I was getting the silent treatment and internally dying over it. Then I felt a gentle cupping my face and an even gentler thumb brushing over the band aid on my bruised cheek. "Was this because of us?" Mikey asked.

"No." I responded instantly, "That's from more memories returning." Those dark feelings returned with a vengeance. The alcohol was not acting fast enough for my liking so I ordered two more shots when a new glass was placed before me.

"Tell me." Mikey ordered, stopping my drink just shy of my lips.

"I remembered how I was able to escape." I answered, continuing when I got silence, "Those bastards threw out my corpse. Made it look like a runaway had died on the streets." I took a big sip and when my drink was put down, I was then turned and wrapped into a tight hug.

"This has gotta be one of the shittiest days for ya." My best friend teased. I let out a mix between a laugh and a sob while hugging him back tightly.

"It started out okay." I told him. "I woke up from a night terror with some pretty awesome messages from my best friend."

"Aoede, if I'm your best friend; then why didn't you tell me about you talkin' to Raph?" Mikey asked, getting the bomb out of the way early I guess.

"I was scared in all honesty. I was scared that you'd break and tell him and the others and that the friendship that I have been trying to rebuild with him would be blown up in my face. I never expected things to be how they are now." I confessed, burying my face into the crook of his neck. Mikey's scent was intoxicating, exhilarating and relaxing all at once. That or the alcohol was finally working.

"Well, let's take these now so you won't try to kill me." Mikey suggested, grabbing both of my shots and handing me one.

"Why?" I drawled to emphasize my suspicion shooting it back regardless.

"Because you are going to be in the same room as Raph for a few minutes and it's one of the reasons why I wanted you here tonight." Mikey released all in one breath, downing the shot and pulling me in for a selfie before I could get too mad.

"You outed me?!" I exclaimed in real hurt.

"What? Oh, no! I didn't tell him that he's talking to you. I would have if you hadn't shown. But no, I wanted you here because we are all having a meeting and want you to be apart of it." Mikey pacified as he handed me a drink and led me to a stairway leading to the basement, arm around my shoulders to keep me close.

"Don't scare me like that man. This has already been terrifying enough." I jabbed him gently to get my point across. He laughed as we reached the bottom of the steps and he knocked on the door in a pattern. The door opened and a bunch of laughing could be heard from inside and I started to follow Mikey, only to stop.

The turtle who opened the door hadn't been looking at us when he did, but when he noticed Mikey wasn't alone he looked at me. If Mikey hadn't been holding onto me, I would have told you he had opened the door in a new style of outfit. The turtle froze at the same time I had. Time seemed to stop all together.

"76?" I breathed my knees started to knock with how badly I was shaking.

"You're alive!" He cried out. I tore myself out of Mikey's grip and tackled the turtle before me to the floor in a bear hug! I was crying at this point but I didn't care, 76 was alive, free from that place and in my arms again. This day had just turned into one of the best ones.

"No. Fucking. Way! 13! You remember us now?!" I heard another voice ask as it got closer. I looked to see the other three brothers that meant the world to me. Though I wouldn't really say that I recognized them, other than 78 with his mismatched eyes.

The tallest, covered in a black beanie with tattoo sleeves of purple and black fire spiraling down his arms that were visible thanks to his sleeveless vest, fell to his knees. His red eyes shined with tears and recognized him then, 76 having sat us up so we could see each other better. "77, 78." I looked between the two middle brothers with my own wet face, the pair engulfing me in their arms.

"So what was with the stunt earlier? Was it the cops?" The voice asked me, annoyance lacing his own.

I looked up from the guys shoulders to see whom I could only presume to be 79 standing behind them, glaring down at me with his own wet eyes. I let 77 and 78 go so I could push myself to stand just short of eye level with the oldest brother. "Thank you, 79. You walking up to me today, it brought all of you back into my memories. When I had been pronounced dead, it was brain dead because they had over stimulated me. They had given me something new and then put me through too many tests all at once, I couldn't keep up. I had forgotten everything most of what had happened in there. Your voice brought all of you back to me."

I had gotten closer to him with every sentence, but stopped short to allow him to choose whether to let me in again or not. I got my answer soon enough as he stepped forward and pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're back with us." 79 whispered in my ear. I audibly sobbed and hugged him back just as tight, my heart soaring in delight. Until another, familiar voice broke the moment and my guard went straight the hell up!

"Uh, you guys know her?" Leo asked, causing time to resume its natural course and bring reality back.

"Hell yeah! She's the very reason we got free from that hellhole we told ya about!" 79 answered. Wrapping an arm around my shoulder and leading me to the table where all of the Hamato brothers were standing, 76 stole me away to try and introduce me.

"We know who she is M.C. we don't need introductions." Raph spat, sitting as tense as I was standing.

"Though I think we need one, M.C.?" I asked my young love.

"Oh yeah! We don't go by the numbers anymore and went back to our old names! So I'm M.C. short for Master of Chaos." M.C. introduced.

"Fitting." I interjected with a smirk.

"Swift here has been leading us and keeping us alive, even though Rebel is probably the real reason why we aren't smelling or actually looking like street rats, he's basically taken on the roll of 'Mom'." M.C. continued while pointing at his two oldest brothers. "Then there's Ghost, he's probably changed the most since we thought you had died. He doesn't really talk much anymore."

I looked to the second youngest of my friends and felt a pang of guilt resonate within my soul. He simply smiled at me and shook his head, almost like he was silently telling me it wasn't my fault. I smiled back and started my introduction; "Well I go by Aoede or Elizabeth, depending on the situation. I don't remember what my real name could have been because like I said, I was announced brain dead and lost basically all of my memories. They do come back to me when triggered though, most of the time it's in the form of night terrors." As much as I didn't want to, I noticed the slight flinch that Raph had when he heard that one of my names was one he could know.

"Now that that's out of the way, why don't we get down to business?" Leo asked.

"Right! So, M.C. and I have asked you guys to come here today for a special reason other than an amazing party." Mikey started.

"Yeah! We have been thinkin' and we want to join forces to help clean up this city." M.C. continued without missing a beat. They were met with silence at first. The three oldest brothers of each party looking between themselves, then at me.

"Why am I included? Mikey this has to be your idea." I rationalized.

"Well Duh! Who wouldn't want New York City's Shadow watching their backs?" He countered. I felt M.C. go stiff under my arm around his waist.

"You okay?" I asked as he looked me in the eyes.

"You were on our hitlist." Swift answered. I looked to him in pure shock, I can't have heard him right. The solemn nods I got from the other two however were not inspiring.

"Wait, you mean "Shadow" was on your list, right? Why?" I questioned as my blood rushed my ears.

"We've been making lists of people to take down. People connected with TCRI." Swift explained. His words sent my head swimming and maybe it was the alcohol but I suddenly found myself leaning heavily against Mikey. "We'll explain more later, for now let's hear the little bro's."

"Uh...well...my brothers and I have all agreed that we are tired of havin' to sneak around just to see our friend. So I came up with a way to free her and talked to M.C. about it and then we just kept on talkin' and then BOOM! Here we are trying to get you guys to agree in making the best gang this city has ever seen!" Mikey continued into regaining his excitement, simultaneously rubbing my shoulder gently as his show of support.

"And, we'll become the best by taking down the best. Running this town so no other kid has to go through what we did and then hope to inspire other groups to do so in their areas." M.C. picked up, sliding his arm around my waist with a slight squeeze. Sadly it was right on my injured ribs and I winced just a little and very softly. I think the only person in the room who saw it is also the only person in this room who doesn't care.

"I'm in." I breathed, using this opportunity to move comfortably lose in M.C.'s arm to face him with an understanding smile.

"Now why would Momma Bears', precious little daughter want out of her luxurious, pampered and spoiled rotten to the very soul, life?" Raph digged and it hurt but I faced him anyways.

"If only you knew the truth. You would know that I'm being held against my will under scrutiny from everyone! I have to report wherever I'm going if I so much as open my apartment door, and if I don't answer the phone because I'm having a panic attack? Or sleeping for the first time in a few days? This happens!" I shout, pointing at the side of my swollen face.

"Oh boohoo, you must have it so rough in your penthouse apartment in Times Square!" Raph yelled, this got my blood boiling.

"You really want to assume my life is all diamonds and someone else's blood shed?!" I snapped, unzipping my jacket and pulling on the hem of the shirt to reveal the darkly blooming bruises all around my abdomen. "Then why don't you ask your brothers what's really been going on these last five years? They've seen me ten times worse than this! Don't even get me started on what these guys have seen me go through!" I then gestured to my brothers.

"You couldn't even imagine what we went through together and what I would give to be with the only people who have brought sanity into my world of scars, blood and pain!" Mikey and M.C. had put their hands on my shoulders to try and calm me. M.C. even ran a soothing hand up and down my arm causing me to drop the shirt and jacket hems.

Raph was silent after that and Swift was the one to break the building tension; "So what about you guys? Can we count on you too, or do we need to worry for our girl?" The looks on the other Hamato brother's faces would have been priceless if the situation hadn't been so serious. I knew where Mikey stood, possibly even Leo and Donnie, but Raph wouldn't agree to anything involving me. I didn't want the brothers to be at war with each other over me, so I opened my mouth once again.

"Look, I know that you don't want to work with me." I stated, now rather calmly to Raph as I held his scrutinizing gaze, "So if you agree to this, you won't have to. I'll be out most of the time anyways in the beginning getting my revenge. When things are settled, I'll stay out of your way."

"Could you agree to at least that, Raph?" Leo asked him when the second oldest didn't respond.

"Yeah, I guess." The red clad turtle finally relented after staring me down for what felt like an eternity while the gears in his mind turned plainly in his eyes. No matter how badly I had wanted to avoid extended eye contact with him I couldn't afford to back down at that point. I needed to give him something to rely on from me. "But if she back stabs us right in the end when we think that everything is great and we think we're done; I get to kill her." I heard a little crack come from within my body but I couldn't let the pain show.

"That's not a good start in this alliance." I heard Rebel snap.

"Raph, I know you don't trust her but we might need her to make this work." Leo told him, trying to use reason.

"You really trying to start something?" Swift had asked, Ghost who was at his shoulder put a hand on a gun that was tucked into the waistline of his pants.

"I won't let you touch her." Mikey and M.C. said in unison, it was honestly a little scary.

"Raph please, Mikey's told me about what they want to start with so let's just hear them out fully before you start threatening Aoede. She obviously means a lot to them and could be a very valuable ally." Donnie also tried his hand at being the voice of reason. Everyone was talking over one another, yelling at Raph or threatening him all because of me. I don't think I have ever felt so loved and guilty all at once before.

"Deal." I said, I hadn't broken the eye contact with Raph through the chaos.

The room fell silent then, the boys who had been trying to comfort me stared in shock. I looked to the other brothers one at a time, showing them my silent resolve, landing on Raph last. He probably held the most shocked on his face. He probably had expected me to try and tell him he was being unreasonable or unfair. But out of all the guys in this room, he deserved the right to kill me the most.

"Aoede, are you fucking sayin' that there's a chance you'll betray us?" Swift asked.

"No chance in hell." I retorted before he even finished. "But if it means that I can be with my brothers and best friends then I'll agree to it. Family is everything." The four brothers who went through hell with me repeated our mantra. Once we had gotten close in TCRI they started calling me their sister, and we meant what we said.

"Then it's settled. We need to come up with a strategy for getting Aoede out of Momma Bear's grasp and then we can start planning where we want to start." Leo declared, holding his fist out over the center of the table. Swift knocked Leo's fist with his own and held it there while the twins looked to me.

"I think the plan to get me away from her is to not force me to go back." I joked as I knocked my fist into theirs.

"And where we start is with Momma Bear!" Swift cheered. Everyone cheered, the exceptions being Raph and Ghost, but Ghost at least smiled. "I think we need drinks to celebrate!"

"I'll go!" I said as I ducked under Mikey and M.C.'s arms after they hugged me, slipping out of my jacket with it still in their arms.


	6. Go Big and Get Lost

CHAPTER 6

Once I made it back up stairs I did order two more shots and waited for the effects to kick in before ordering a round for me and the boys. I could feel my phone vibrating, and upon checking it, I knew that Raph was coming up here to find "Ellie." I pulled cash out to close my tab since I'm certain that I will be trying to get out of here in a hurry. Even though I don't know where I'd be going other than back to the brothers in the basement.

I then made my way into the heart of the dance floor, phone in hand. If I was really going to change things around in my life starting tonight, I might as well go all the way. Nothing can ever be started in small gestures with me, they need to be memorable for years to come. I finally checked my messages when I reached the middle of the pheromone riddled sea of bodies.

Raph: "I'm at the bar, where are you?"

Me: "I may have had too much to drink and ended up on the dance floor. Why don't you come save me? ;)"

Raph: "Your hero is on his way."

'Should I feel guilty for tricking him into coming out here where I can easily hide from him? Probably. Should I regret even trying to make a reconnection with him in the first place. Nah, I never will. Am I being stupid for revealing myself now? Yes, but if this is the last night I will get to be this close to him, then dammit I'm getting as close as I can.' I monologue, watching for when I could see the signature red hoodie getting close.

I saw it, thankfully Raph was wearing his hood up. It's because he knows he looks sexy as hell when he does that over his hat with it unzipped. It made me question if I saw him wearing a shirt or not under it, I was really hoping he wasn't. I then called out for him when I saw him looking around, really feeling grateful for the loud music making it easy on me. My voice was higher naturally when I was trying to be loud. It was honestly weird saying his name out loud again...

I saw his hood spin in my direction and I wove my way through the dancers to get behind him again. I could feel the tequila spurring me on as I circled in on him, calling out every time I was behind him. The music was just starting to slow down when I got right behind him. Not thinking about the consequences I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into the back of his hoodie.

"God you smell so good." I murmured in my fake voice.

"Haha, not exactly the hug I was imagining toots." Raph responded, trying to turn around. Only my grip on him tightened and I tensed, giving every sign that I was scared or nervous for him to see me. "It's okay, I won't hurt you." He promised and it honestly broke my heart again.

"But, what if I hurt you?" I asked, my fake voice easier as I hold back my tears, nuzzling his back. I then felt bold and suddenly horny enough to raise my hands up to his well toned abs and plastron. "I don't want to lose what I have with you."

Raph sighed deeply then took my hands in his and I wrapped my fingers around his palms and squeezed gently, real fear creeping in. "Just know one thing." I started still in my fake voice and taking a deep breath, "I never flat out lied to you until earlier today about why I had to leave. I've always been real with you. Everything I have ever said-" I was cut off by him pulling my hands out from under his shirt.

"Ellie?" His voice was so soft and yet I heard it over the blaring music. "Is short for Elizabeth, right?"

"Yes." I answered, my voice cracking from how much it hurt being restrained. I had no right to cry now, I did this. I hung my head low into his back, ready for the outrage that he would show. The entire time he stared at my hands I memorized the way they felt in mine again, the way he smelled like a hot day in spring.

"You lied a bit more than just today." He snapped, his tone harsh but he didn't move.

"No, not really. I only changed the gender of the parental figure and job. I knew those would be dead give aways." I explained his immobility giving me just a little hope.

"And your recurring night terror?" He snapped, though it sounded forced.

"It's that night, she threatened to kill you if I didn't hurt you. I wanted to protect you, I wanted you in my life still." My hands were hurting from how much pressure Raph was inflicting on them, but I couldn't let go now that I was started. Raph tried to step out of my grip but I just held on tighter, I wasn't ready to lose him again.

"I regret everything I said to you that night. I would have rather said yes and taken my life later, if I had known that you were going to hold onto the pain. I don't care that you hate me, you have every right to do so. So I'm going to let go now, now that you know the truth. You can beat me, you can kill me, you can walk away from me and I will do everything in my power so that you will never have to see me again. I just wanted you to hear the truth from me. Your brothers can back everything I've said. You hate me, I know; but I still think I love you Raph." I dropped the voice and just spoke with such purity in what was left of me.

Then I dropped my grip on his hands, I was pulling them back as I backed up to give him space. I didn't lift my head though, I was ashamed of the tears that were pouring down my cheeks. I saw his feet move to face me and I turned my head, fists balling as I mentally prepared myself for what came next. The urge to hold myself was strong but I wouldn't show weakness any further, I had to own up to what I did.

"Nice shirt." Was what Raph said, I flinched at first because I had been expecting worse. But then looked up to him in shock, I found a neutral expression on his face. I looked back down, eyes shut tight and confessed that it was my favorite. "I can tell, you've almost worn it down to the last thread."

I folded then, not knowing how to react to him being so calm. I held myself on my good side only and that even hurt my ribs and bruised stomach. I could handle an exploding Raph, I was ready for it, but not this. This calm Raph was unknown territory to me and it was almost scarier than a silent Leo. I flinched again when he cupped my chin, slowly pulling my face up, but I didn't open my eyes. "Why?" He asked, "Why reach out to me in disguise? Why not just try to tell me as yourself?"

"Would you have honestly listened to me a year ago? Would you have believed me? If you did, would you honestly tell me that you wouldn't have tried something stupid that would have gotten you killed? I couldn't risk that, or the friendships I had built with your brothers. We all made sacrifices and compromises to get to where we are today, I just couldn't risk bringing you in yet."

Not once did I open my eyes, so I wasn't ready when my face was suddenly being held in two hands and my lips molding so perfectly to another set. My tears freshened and my body moved on instinct, moving in closer to him. He trailed one hand down my neck then down the front of my shirt before snaking its way to wrap around my lower back pulling me flush, just like before. My hands found their way inside Raph's hoodie once again and clung tightly to his shell.

We pulled our lips away at the same time to breathe but that's all that moved. We were panting heavily as bodies moved all around us, the perfect cover. I finally found the courage to meet his molten amber eyes and found them staring into my own. The intensity of the moment and gesture was starting to show with the burn in my cheeks. He kissed me again, this time slow and memorizing bodies moving together in time to the beat. "So, a whole hour huh?" Raph teased out of nowhere when we parted again.

My everything flushed as I immediately caught on to what he was saying wide-eyed and pulled flush to his body. He laughed hard, loud and heartily. It was one of the best things I had heard in awhile. "What do you say, we go to my room here and beat that time?" Raph offered and I shit you not I think I had turned everyone on that was near me.

Raph definitely noticed with the way he was suddenly going from teasing me about sex, to giving me the bedroom eyes of "fuck me now or I'm going to lose it." Without much warning Raph threw off his hood and hat, spinning me around and pinning me against his body. I could feel his "tail" starting to stick out and poke me in the ass, and I started to cave to my body's desire. "You did lie with that bit about you being a turtle, it's what really kept me from guessing it was you." Raph told me. It was the slap to reality that I needed.

Not even the other brothers knew about that and my slip up just gave me away. I froze in shock and fear about that news getting out, but part of me didn't understand why. Why was it so bad that he knew? Why was I keeping it a secret from everyone? So I leaned back into Raph's plastron chest my head swimming from alcohol and pheromones and whispered; "That wasn't a lie."

"Fuck Ellie, I might not be able to fight my instincts much longer." Raph warned as he started sniffing and nuzzling my neck, the hand not attached to the arm holding me against him was starting to roam. Raph got bumped from behind enough that he pushed into me in a little grinding way, and a small yet loud sound escaped me before I could stop it. Raph froze this time, but only briefly, before he tried that motion on me again. I had brought my lips together in time to stop what was trying to come. Raph was now determined to get that sound out of me again and my body was desperate to feel more of him on my skin.

Then I saw it. A flash of orange coming our way from two directions. It was what broke me through the building haze in my mind. Instead of giving into Raph's subtle gestures I pulled myself out of his grasp by some miracle and right in time. A few seconds later Mikey and M.C. bursted into mine and Raphs small chunk of dance floor.


	7. Let's Clear Somethings Up

Chapter 7

"Aoede, is everything okay here?" M.C. asked eyeing my physical state with Mikey starting to sniff the air.

"Uh, yeah, what's a safer place to have a conversation with someone who hates you than when surrounded by other people. Right?" I was starting to walk away and both Raph and Mikey grabbed my arms.

"You need to tell me the truth right now." Mikey growled while Raph chirred.

I felt my blood turn to ice and on instinct I looked to M.C. for an assist. He simply smiled and shrugged in the most unhelpful of ways imaginable. I sighed in annoyance as M.C. started to catch a whiff of the air around us. "Fine, you want the truth Mikey?" I challenged as I met his cold gaze.

"That's all I've ever wanted from you." He replied, yanking me out of Raph's grip when he tried to pull me back to him. "You need to go chill out bro! We are having a serious conversation here!"

Mikey then literally pushed Raph away from us. If looks could kill, then Mikey would be a bloody mess on the dance floor. To make things worse Mikey wasn't backing down or trying to defuse the situation. I then changed the game and grabbed his hand and M.C.'s as I sprinted through the crowd before shit could escalate. "What the hell Aoede?!" They shouted in unison.

"The truth is; I'm really a turtle. One of the first tests that I had gone through was removing my shell and plastron to see if reptiles could survive if modified." I told them as I pulled us to the bar. It was really freeing to say that outloud to the people I trust the most.

"Wait, what? You're really a turtle?! That actually explains a lot." I could hear M.C. say as I dropped their hands to pull on my jacket and beanie that he had been holding his tone rather excited.

"Yeah, that's why they started separating us for a week every month near the end." I replied with an out of breath smile as I popped my collar. "Now where is your guys place? I've been done with Momma for the last five years and am ready to bail."

"This is it. We live here, both upstairs and down." M.C. answered, holding his arms out and looking around at the party.

"Shit, well, where can we go to get away from hothead?" I clarified.

"Ah, come on, we'll go to my room." M.C.'s mischievous smile had me on edge. I looked to Mikey but he just pushed past me, the death grip on my wrist told me that wasn't the truth he wanted. I obviously followed them, pushing through the drunk animals around us as I kept an eye out for Raph.

'I had no idea that he would react like that. WHY IN THE HELL DID HE KISS ME?' I had to back burner those thoughts after I tripped over the back of my own heel. 'Gods what is wrong with me?! Did I have more to drink than I thought? Was being turned on by someone else really affecting me?'

It really must have because I didn't even think to catch myself and just fell onto Mikey, his scent and whined in need at the friction his body sent through mine. Said turtle boy looked at me in shock as he caught me under the arms. "Sorry." I murmured, righting myself with a wobble not catching the fact that I had started to lean into his neck. His scent was really intoxicating.

"Get on." Mikey replied, turning around and crouching to offer me his shell. The gesture really warmed my heart. My thoughts then changed without warning to the guy before me. They were all the things that I had told myself that I couldn't think about because I would fall for him. He had become my most sacred friend and most trusted confidant, seeking me out in my darkest time of need even if he didn't know it.

"Piggy back!" I squealed as I literally jumped onto his back, the fact that my face was burning so much it was numb finally caught up to me. Mikey stumbled a little but then chuckled and took off in a sprint as I cheered, yeah the tequila had finally hit full force with my sex drive. I had to hold on tight as he took a flight of stairs at the same speed. "You're really getting a work out!" I called out.

"Haha, nah you aren't THAT heavy." Mikey teased as I slid off his back. I giggled lamely before I noticed that Mikey's face didn't match the tone of his voice. I grew more serious then, for about a second before I started out right laughing because I had noticed his shirt. It was a cat made of melting ice cream captioned; "STAY COOL"

"Mikey, your shirt! It's too much for me to stay focused, you should take it off." I purred, sauntering up to him and reaching for his shirt collar.

Mikey stopped me though by grabbing my wrists, his tight grip not letting me reach my destination. I looked into his eyes as my skin was burning under his, maintaining his icy blue gaze while I tried to free myself. Mikey held my wrists so still they didn't even budge. His expression was anything but positive, so I pulled even harder now in confusion. "Let me go if you don't want me touching you Mikey."

I don't know what snapped in him, and I don't remember either of us moving. Yet I suddenly found myself incapable of breathing properly with my arms spread out to the sides. Mikey's lips were the reason why I couldn't breathe and they were moving vigorously against mine. What I also couldn't figure out where how mine were moving with his without me telling them too.

"If you're done eatin' her face, I wanna show Aoede the place." M.C. said from out of the blue. I jumped violently breaking the kiss to stare at the annoyed turtle. Mikey finally let go off my wrists after an attempt to reclaim my mouth failed and he had gotten my cheek.

"Maybe just your room for the night M.C.? I don't think I'll be remembering much of tonight at this rate." I managed to get out without falling as the room spun.

"Ha! You're a lightweight!" M.C. teased.

"Do you want me to get more drunk, because I would rather deal with that than this hormonal high." I stated with slight annoyance.

"Nah, I want you to sober up a bit first and THEN get you more drunk. Plus I can get you a cold shower soon." He returned as I stumbled my way to him. "Could I get one before I do anything else that could cause trouble?" I asked as I made my way to what looked like a blurry kitchen area. It was decently clean for at least four guys living here.

"Yeah it's over here." M.C. told me, the sound of crinkling plastic following his words. "I've got some clothes that you can borrow while we wash yours. But we'll need to get back down stairs for that."

I nodded as I spun around too fast for my equilibrium to keep up with. M.C. thankfully had been walking towards me so his arms kept my face from meeting his floors. I could feel him laughing at me as his chest bounced my head, his arms tightening into a hug. I felt so safe right then with M.C. holding me, just like the old times. Just like those times I nuzzled my face into his open jacket and took deep even breaths.

"Hey now, no fallin' asleep yet! I still need to see these dance moves Mikey keeps raving about." My best friend teased. "Come on the shower's this way."

"Mikey...you told him about that!" I whined, not caring to move my head as M.C. led me down a hallway.

"You know I can't keep something so amazing a secret." Mikey returned, finally speaking since our moment. He walked past us to what I'm going to guess was the fridge and paused after opening it. M.C. stopped me at the third door and from the smell alone I could tell that it was the bathroom. "When was the last time you guys washed this room?" I asked as all of their scents flooded my senses.

"Uh, yesterday actually. Why?" He asked.

"More than one of you rubbed one in here recently." I stated plainly. M.C. laughed loudly for the small space, letting me go and walking over to start the shower. "I mean seriously! Can you not smell it?" I asked, walking over to the jetted liquid.

"No, well kinda, but one of those is me so, sorry. I didn't realize I'd be having anyone in here, let alone you of all animals." He teased. But my body was reacting and I quickly stripped of my shirt and shoes. I paused when I heard him shuffle behind me, turned to look him in the eyes and said; "Unless you want a show and to help me, I suggest you leave."

"I would normally stay and help you, but I should make sure no one tries to get in here." M.C. answered without moving. With a shrug at his lack of mobility I turned back to the water and stripped of my jeans, catching my undergarments and socks. "You clearly need lessons if you call that a show though." M.C. told me. I simply looked back with a smirk and raised eyebrow ridge. With one hand and a graceful movement I had my bra unclasped and sliding down my arms, without breaking eye contact with him.

M.C. tried so hard not to react but I could see his steely blue eyes darken and the way his adams apple bobbed with restraint. Satisfied with the reaction I got I turned back to the water and stepped in. Instantly jumping as far back as I could with how freaking cold the water was! M.C. doubled over laughing as I shut the curtain after flipping him off. Gingerly I worked my way into the water and it was working its magic at calming down my hormones. That's what happens when you walk into a curtain of ice!

I did turn the heat up just enough to get feeling and easier movement in my joints as well as work some soap over my skin. When I was ready I stuck my head out to find M.C. still standing there holding the only towel in the room. I made grabbing motions with my hand and this jerk merely shook his head and leaned against the door. I shot him a deadpanned look but regardless stepped out from the shower with no shame.

'I mean, he's seen me naked before so why should now be any different?' I thought to myself as I approached him. M.C. handed me the towel after he studied my every movement towards him and gave me the once over.

"You smell better at least." Was all he said, though I'm not sure I was meant to hear that.

"Thanks?" I questioned as I stepped back and started to pat myself dry.

"I'll go get you some clothes, hold on." M.C. told me making a fast exit and returning within a few minutes. "Here's some of my clothes, they might be a bit big but at least their clean."

"Thank you." I told him, sliding the pants on under the towel and turning my back to M.C. so I could put the shirt on. With my back still turned I breathed in deep the scent that was M.C. with a content sigh. I have not felt this safe, ever, and I'm starting to think that my choice has been made for me. It was as I turned back to face my long time friend did I feel his pants slide down my hips a little.

"Uh, do you have a belt by any chance?" I asked, holding his pants up at the sides.

"Huh? Oh yeah, follow me." Was his reply, his voice had taken on a husky note but the visible restraint he was showing and how he did everything in his power to keep a few feet between was really sweet. None the less I followed him out the bathroom door and to the right, stopping behind him at the first door on our left.

"This is my room, judge all you want, it's hard being the go-for in this family and still keep my room clean." M.C. laughed though it sounded strained.

"You still get all the grunt work?" I asked, looking around at the clothes strewn everywhere and the unkempt bed. There were also piles of random items and weapons in different areas of the surprisingly large room as well as posters and a few skateboards.

"Yeah but what's the difference between now and then? Easy, this time I was able to find you." He shot back with a grin from the wardrobe he had been standing at.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean I had found you on an errand run a few weeks ago. I nearly had a fucking heartattack thinking I was seeing a ghost, but you were real and alive! You had been leaving some old theater late at night and I was honestly planning on robbing you until you looked around the area. I saw your eyes and just...froze. I ran back here so fast because I had forgotten to actually get the things and Rebel and Swift were mad, until I told them why."

I remember that night, I felt like I was being stalked like some weak prey and was ready to punch that persons lights out. So of course I had checked my surroundings first and when I didn't see anyone immediately I ducked into the first alleyway that I came across. "I remember thinking; 'What the hell is this chick doing? That's easy prey!' But knowing who you are now it makes total sense and I'm both relieved and pissed that I didn't approach you that night." M.C. added.

I walked up to M.C. and hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him go. I nuzzled into his neck and breathed in the deep, he smelled like lavender and cloves and I swear he honestly smelled like a home. Safe and comforting. He was returning the gesture and that was when he started shaking. I started humming softly on instinct as our grip grew tighter, the reality of the five of us being together again bringing back so much joy and relief.

"Hey are you guys okay in here?" I heard Mikey asked as he walked down the hall. "It's been almost fifteen minutes, you guys better not be…" Mikey's words trailed off when he rounded the corner and into mine and M.C.'s moment.

He looked to M.C. in silence and I felt him move his arms a few times. I then let M.C. go and wiped my face of the tears I didn't realize were falling before looking to Mikey. "Hey, yeah, no. No funny business going on in here I promise." I told him while raising my hand like some cub scout.

"Okay." Mikey replied his tone was somber and he looked both awkward and near heart broken.

I pulled M.C. in one arm and dragged him to the doorway where I wrapped Mikey into my other arm and tried to walk us down the hallway. We were cramped together but I refused to let them go from my sides, besides it was a short walk. Then were in the living room where Raph was just entering.

"What are you doing here bro?" Mikey asked, his words were filled to the brim with underlying warnings.

"There's only one other place to check when you weren't in the basement." Came Raph's surprisingly calm response. There was silence after that for a few minutes until Mikey lunged with a right hook, effectively shattering the building peace. "What the hell Mikey?!" Raph shouted.

M.C. pulled me onto the nearby couch and wrapped an arm around my waist as the two brother's fight kept going on in front of us. I tried to move to stop the brothers from fighting each other, eyes white and no holds barred, but M.C. just squeezed me tighter. "You started this, now let 'em finish." M.C. murmured against my ear while the brother's yelled at each other.

"Why aren't you trying anything?" I asked since it was the first thought in my mind.

"I have a little more self-control than them, ya know? Plus your injuries remind me of then. If you didn't have 'em then I wouldn't have let anyone touch you." M.C. answered, no jokes to his tone. I merely nodded and laid my head onto his shoulder as Mikey somehow managed to get Raph into a headlock!

"Give up Raph! I won't let you win this time!" Mikey screamed.

Raphael didn't though and was looking at me for help. It was breaking my heart and I didn't want to hurt him again so soon. "Mikey, stop. You win, I declare it." I interjected, the youngest Hamato looking to me as if he didn't recognize me.

M.C. sighed beside me but said nothing, simply rubbed my arm before letting me go. I immediately went to the pair in front of us. Mikey's face was swollen on the left side, the same as Raph who was starting to go limp in his arms. I looked back to Mikey, hands up in a non-threatening manner and gently touching his arms around Raph's neck. Mikey dropped him and Raph fell to the floor with a solid "thud!"

I knelt to check that the red-favouring turtle still had a pulse. I smiled once I found it and stood back up, my gaze going back to Mikey. His eye shields had retracted at one point as he looked between me and his brother. "What did I do?" He asked as he started at his busted knuckles.

"You fought Raph over who was better for Aoede." M.C. answered like he was reporting the weather.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered as the weight of my actions hit me harder than a semi-truck. "If this is how things are going to be then maybe I should just leave."

"Shut up 13." M.C. cut me off before I could say something else that stupid. "You did this when you started talking to Raph, own up that you played both of them. Leaving isn't an option for you anymore and if I hear you say that shit again I will let Swift find a punishment for you." He growled. I turned to him in shock, but the truth was slapping me in the face and through my guilt riddled mind as it told me that I was stupid to think it would be easier for me to leave. I looked to him apologetically and then back to Mikey, tears springing in my eyes once more.

"He's right." I whispered, dropping my head in shame. "I didn't mean to make you fall for me, I needed a life line and you weren't giving up on me. I didn't mean for things to escalate with Raph like they did. I honestly thought that he would kill me once he found out and I would have let him."

"I wasn't giving up on you because I loved you long before we were talking. I thought that I finally had a chance with Raph outta the picture. I just wish you would've told me you wanted to try to fix your friendship? I would have told you how I felt right then!" Mikey unloaded and he had grabbed my chin so I knew he wasn't bullshitting me.

"I just want to know what you think of me." He added when I just stared into his eyes my awe-struck silence probably not helping his courage.

"I think...I think that you're my best friend Mikey. I don't ever want to lose you, but with my M.C. back, and the memories of US, it just made things worse." I confessed.

"Hey! Don't bring me into this!" M.C. shouted from the couch.

"How does he make things worse?" Mikey asked at the same time.

"We promised each other to get married if we ever escaped." My words hung in silence over our heads.

"You remembered that?" M.C. asked in a whisper.

"Yes, but I do like Mikey more than a friend and I still have feelings for Raph. For now I think the safest thing to do would be to pick no one." I replied. "Especially since we are going to start working together. In the beginning it would only complicate things between everyone if I chose someone and it caused tension either within one group or between the two of you." I was no longer wanting to leave, that much I could tell.

"That's fair and smart. I'm glad to see that Swift is still a usable threat on you." M.C. teased with a wink as he got up and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"But what about when things get settled?" Mikey asked, leaning down to wrap one of Raph's arms around his shoulders so he could deadlift him off the floor and then dump him on the couch.

"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it? Right now I want to focus on getting free from Momma and living long enough to get to then." I turned in M.C.'s arm to look at Mikey while answering and saw him throw a blanket over his older brother.

"Then let's get back downstairs and figure out a plan with the others." M.C. suggested as he led me back to the stairs that were still vibrating with bass.

"Now that sounds like a plan!" I cheered, stepping out of M.C.'s arm to walk ahead of them a smile on my face as my chest felt light with I dared to believe was hope building inside of it.


	8. How They Forgave Me

"I need to go pull money from my account before I stay with you guys." I told the boys as we made our way through the dance floor.

"Why? Do you have a lot?" M.C. asked.

"Yeah, I've got close to seven hundred and fifty k in savings." I answered while I tried to find my work phone. "Shit! Where's my phone?" I asked myself.

"Um, it's going off in your ass?" M.C. responded, confusing me. I pulled my phone out to see that I was missing a call from Raph. I have missed a lot of calls from him, as well as messages, most of them asking where I was.

"Nah bro, that's the one I gave her. She's got one that Momma Bear can hack into. Hey Aoede, did you leave it at the phone check-in? That's why we suggested having one." Mikey asked me while explaining to M.C.

"Yes! Thank you. There's a specific thing on there that I need in order to make a full withdrawal." Was my answer, we reached and descended the basement stairs in no time flat. Mikey knocked the code once more and Donnie was the one to let us in this time.

After we walked in I fell onto the couch, intentionally, with an "oomph" and closed my eyes to try and relax the last bit of alcohol out of my system. Feeling someone sit next to me on the couch I turned and laid my head on their shoulder, regardless of who it was. For once I knew that every person in this room wouldn't do anything to hurt me so I could allow myself to give in to my cravings for physical touch. The person I was leaning on chuckled and said; "Still cuddly I see."

It was M.C. who had said that and I relaxed even further. "She has never cuddled before, I don't think she ever even cuddled with Raph." Mikey breathed. I shook my head "no" to confirm his memory. I knew what I was doing then was dangerous and I never could allow myself the reprieve that all of these brothers granted me.

"I just have that charm." M.C. bragged, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I could hear his brothers laughing. It was honestly one of the most relaxing sounds I've ever heard in my life. The ones that I care for the most are not only currently safe and free from that hell hole, but also thriving and friends with the only people I trusted after them. It was better than my birthday and Christmas in one.

"Well, if she really did go through Hell with ya, then it can't be helped." Leo's voice cut through the air.

"So she's told you about TCRI?" Rebel asked.

"Sort of. She never gave the name otherwise we would be more aware of the on goings within the company and working on getting pay back." The coldness in Mikey's answer was able to restart the ice age. The murmured agreements from his brothers were heartwarming in contrast.

"I'm confused." Swift butted in, "Raph told me what happened between him and Aoede. Why are you guys so protective of her? I understand why we are, but shouldn't you guys be trying to kill her?"

Silence hung heavy in the air and my relaxful moment was gone. I sat up and saw the three present Hamato brothers watching me. It was my story after all, though they had the right to share it since it was their pain as well. I nodded and stood up, pulling off my bomber jacket, shirt and unlacing my thick watch. The scar on my wrist was the deepest and most jagged out of the four on my arm, it was also Michelangelo's. But my whole body was covered in scars, all dealt by their hands.

"We got our pound of flesh." Donnie started, his voice was hollow and blank.

"We had been sent out to protect someone with dirt on one of Momma Bear's clientele a month or so after the incident." Mikey added, pain and regret flooded his words as he stared at his permanent mark.

"That was also the first time Aoede had been allowed to go back out on missions and hers was to kill the guy we were protecting." Leo finished the intro to the story and it was clear that this was where I came in.

"I didn't know that they were protecting him. I had gone through a month of training not unlike TCRI's, now that I think about it. I was robotically focused on my mission at hand and I was desperate for one day without a constant beating or mental torture. For things to go back to how they had been. I killed him without being seen and without hesitation."

"What she wasn't expecting," Donnie interjected, "Was that Mikey had been staking out the base and had convinced me to hack into the communications so that we knew when they were thinking about sending her out. He had told me it was for revenge over what she did to Raph."

"It had started out that way." Mikey added.

"So when Aoede dropped in to get her evidence that the task was done, we set off an EMP and fried all of her equipment, including her communications." Donnie continued.

"I was ready to kill whoever it was attacking me. Then I realized it was them, they rushed me from three sides out of sight and in the dark, they funneled me into a trap. It was a bunker. No windows, no lights, covered in metal wire so that the equipment that they had stored in there wouldn't be affected by the shockwave. It had looked like a sewer exit, so imagine how I felt after finding out I had been wrong." I tried to make a joke out of it, but it was flatter than a week old opened bottle of soda.

"She was cornered and had no idea it was us ready to kill her in revenge for the shit she had done to Raph." Leo picked up. "What we weren't expecting was for her to surrender the minute she realized it was us."

"What?" Ghost whispered, his shock stunning the whole room.

"Yeah, Ghost. I saw who my attackers were and I was ready to let them torture and kill me. Momma, I would never let her have the satisfaction of my surrender. I endured all of the shit that she put me through because I wanted my life to be taken by the ones who truly deserved to have it. I would only allow the Hamato's to kill me. I was ready to kill anyone else who tried, and still feel that way." My confession was old news to the three brothers. My four brothers however were appalled by it and looked ready to knock some sense into me.

"That was exactly what we did too. We watched her walk over to the workbench of tools we had set up and Mikey was the only one who rushed her when she got too close and had pulled out her knives." Donnie told them, distracting them from their intent with me.

"I had thought she was going to attack us with our tools. I punched her right as she put her knives on the table. I attacked her and kept attacking until Donnie noticed that she had just been laying there taking the hits. She didn't, didn't even try to block them." Mikey's voice cracked and I walked over to him, a hug being well deserved at this point.

"I pulled him off and Donnie removed all of her other weapons, I even had him strip her down to the bare minimum to just be sure. Then Aoede just sat up and walked over to the table and laid on it, waiting for us. We were obviously shocked by this but we knew that we didn't have much longer until others came for her. Mikey and Donnie had quickly pinned her down and we each grabbed a weapon of choice." Leo was shaking as his hands were tight fists at his side, either from remembered rage or regret I couldn't tell.

"We cut into her with such vigor and she never screamed or begged. She just laid there and cried softly with a small smile on her face." I could smell Leo's tears, and released Mikey to go and place a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't deserve to beg for my life and I knew that. I knew what I had done and how it would affect your brother and I hated myself for it. I was happy that you were getting your revenge and that I would be getting the freedom I wanted, the way I wanted." I told him with that same soft and understanding smile.

"I eventually figured it out." Donnie chimed in, "I got frustrated and called her out for it. I screamed at her about what she did and went into detail about how it was affecting Raph and that he had been placed under suicide watch because of her. That was when we really saw inside her mind. We watched her break down and cry and apologize and begged us to kill her. She didn't want to live knowing that she had hurt him that badly."

"She never could handle innocent people getting hurt. That's part of why we grew close to her. She refused to let what happened to her happen to us." M.C. jumped in.

"Uh, that kinda happened anyways." Swift deadpanned.

"No, it really didn't. At least we still look like the species we were born as." My orange clad bad boy snapped. The room was silent after that and all eyes were on me. I sighed and nodded, still not used to openly talking to anyone about this. I grabbed my shirt but hesitated when I held it like I was going to put it on. I could feel the scar on my back burning and tingling from the gazes that were gawking at it.

"I'm actually a turtle." My words hung heavy and I waited, pleading for someone to say something. "It was the first test that they put me through and I was the first, and only one, to survive. I don't remember what I had been fighting for to stay alive then, but I knew that I wouldn't give those bastards the satisfaction of killing me either. Then I met you four, I knew then that I needed to survive for your sakes and mine. You reminded me what it was like to want to live."

"Well that explains some things." Rebel echoed M.C.'s words and I chuckled as tears fell from eyes once more, in relief.

"We always thought those scars were from Momma." Donnie told me, I turned back to face them, my shirt still hanging in my hand and I smiled at them.

"I don't know why I was so scared to tell anyone that part about me. Maybe I didn't want to acknowledge that it actually happened. But it's true and I trust everyone that's in here. You three listened to me and we settled your score. I hold nothing against you and still only give you three the permission to end my life." I told Leo, Mikey and Donnie holding their gazes.

"Well, we are revoking that permission." Swift interjected. "No one is allowed to kill you. You got that? No one who's in our family is allowed to let people kill them. That's the pussy way to go." The leader of the street punks that I loved dearly then walked over to me and grabbed me by the shoulders.

"You have to live and fight with us, otherwise what the hell did we survive for? M.C. never gave up hope that you were alive and we doubted him. Then he comes to us weeks ago saying that he actually saw you and had us stake out that stupid theater to prove it. We weren't sure until this morning if it really was you. I was honestly ready to beat the sense back into you when you acted dumb in front of those cops."

"Do you guys know that you're being tracked by Zootopia cops?" I blurted.

"Yeah, we ditched the bug hours ago." He told me with a proud grin.

"But seriously, you are not allowed to go throwing your life away ever again. Got it?" Swift was steady with his gaze and I knew that I had found my home again. I knew that I was going to be okay and free to be happy once more. Even better, I felt hope that we were all going to be able to be happy and free from any sort of hell we didn't create ourselves.

"Let's get started with our jail break plan then, yeah?" Those were the words of my resolve.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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